First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive. Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your partner needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.

Don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you know will eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.

Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’ t make him or her guess what you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace what is difficult.

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.

Cheering for you,
Len

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So what should you do Now?

Sign up for our Relationship Rescue Report below and I’ll send you an action plan that you can begin to use right away to get your ex back. Then we’ll follow up with you each week or so offering additional tips and encouragement which we are confident will lead to the restoration of your broken relationship. Saving a relationship couldn’t be easier!

First, you are going to want to ask yourself four important questions.

- Is the problem that caused the breakup actually important enough to deserve the attention it is getting?

- Is it even really appropriate and important to argue about this matter right now?

- Will anything be changed or made different by continuing in the argument or does it make more sense to just nip the argument in the bud and move on?

- Is the issue even worth arguing about in the first place?

If you answer no to any of the questions above then stop pressing the matter and let it slide. Many break ups can be prevented or quickly rekindled when a large argument is settled. Surprisingly, many breakups caused by arguments are really completely unnecessary.

The next step to learning how to get your ex boyfriend back is to stop worrying so much about what others think of you. It really does not matter if people think you are funny or too serious, fat or too thin, stupid or intelligent. You want to learn to let go of what others think so that you can finally be yourself. This way, people like your ex boyfriend will see you for who you actually are, rather than who you are trying to be.

Distance yourself from your ex both emotionally and mentally. While this may seem counter intuitive, it is actually important to take yourself out of the situation mentally, removing the stress associated with the break up. When you are feeling more calm and relaxed, and he is feeling the same, is when true communication can finally become a part of the dialogue between the two of you. A little bit of distance never hurt anyone. It’s important to stay in contact, maintain positive conversation and communication, but take the emotions out of the situation if you want to resolve your relationship problem.

Now that your head is clear, and his head is clear, the situation can be truly analyzed for what it is. When you and your ex are no longer feeling so hot headed about the issue that led to the breakup, this is when you can sit down together and communicate through a solution.

Most breakups can be easily undone if you and your ex boyfriend can simply find the patience and civility to talk things through. This should be your primary goal if you want to rekindle the flame with an ex significant other that you care about.

These are just the beginning steps in how to win your ex boyfriend back without driving him away. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren’t my original ideas. I turned to T ‘Dub’ Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T ‘Dub’ authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called “The Magic Of Making Up“. And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

Cheering for you,
Len

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So what should you do Now?

Sign up for our Relationship Rescue Report below and I’ll send you an action plan that you can begin to use right away to get your ex back. Then we’ll follow up with you each week or so offering additional tips and encouragement which we are confident will lead to the restoration of your broken relationship. Saving a relationship couldn’t be easier!

Restoring trust in a relationship requires some adjustments in actions and attitudes.  Even after an affair, you can save a relationship.  But it must start by building up a level of trust within the couple.

If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray.  There may be something wrong at the core of the relationship.  But you can heal these core issues with some work.

What was it that you were looking for when you strayed?  Was the sex humdrum?  Was she too busy for you?  Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?

You wouldn’t have had an affair if the relationship was perfect.  So, what needs to be done to fix it?  Often the answer lies in self analysis.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems.  Sometimes that may mean going to couples counseling. But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough.  The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems. The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them.  If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it.  And, do it consistently.  When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.

Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed.  This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time.  You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course.  It will not be easy for her to forgive you.  If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.

This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever.  In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building.  Just be understanding.

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident.  Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature.  Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in relationships takes time.  It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions.  But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.

Pulling For You,
Len

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So what should you do Now?

Sign up for our Relationship Rescue Report below and I’ll send you an action plan that you can begin to use right away to get your ex back. Then we’ll follow up with you each week or so offering additional tips and encouragement which we are confident will lead to the restoration of your broken relationship. Saving a relationship couldn’t be easier!

·    Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others
·    While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it      up.
·    Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “showing up” at places you are just to      “check up” on you.
·    Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.
·    You have changed things about yourself to please them.

Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them.  So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship?  Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A toxic relationship has a cycle.  There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at which point the cycle begins all over again.

When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage.  It is not until they’ve sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship.  At that point, it is difficult to get out.

One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in unhealthy homes.  As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they’re doing it.  They just don’t know any better.  Others believe they do not deserve happiness.  Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.

But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you DO have choices. Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself.  In most bad relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault.  Once you buy into this,  it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine healthy boundries these horrible relationships.

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycle of toxic relationships.  Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds. But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged.  Sometimes it takes a little space.  Other times, it takes counseling.  But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away.  If you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you.

Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection.  Don’t nag the other person.  Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”

If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.

A healthy relationship is a two way street.  In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way.  You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.

Pulling For You,
Len

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So what should you do Now?

Sign up for our Relationship Rescue Report below and I’ll send you an action plan that you can begin to use right away to get your ex back. Then we’ll follow up with you each week or so offering additional tips and encouragement which we are confident will lead to the restoration of your broken relationship. Saving a relationship couldn’t be easier!

A rebound relationship is one where your ex is dating someone else to get over you. Rebound relationships serve to keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up. They’re used to help people move on after losing a real love.

This is the key to getting your ex back. He or she is in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.

It does not matter why he or she lost you. It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or theirs. It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off. What matters is that you have a real love who is willing to try anything to get over the hurt and because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.

If your ex is in a rebound relationship, they will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship. If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.” If you were into philosophy, their new partner will probably be watching Monday Night Football. Or, vice versa.

The fact that they are actually focusing on the differences in your personalities is actually good for you for two reasons. Their attention is still focused on you even when they are with the new person. And, it gives you a chance to see what they are looking for.

If they’re with someone very different from you, it means that they are missing something in your relationship. You can use the time that they are with “rebound person” to improve yourself.

Let the rebound relationship run its course. Because, as they spend time with the new person, they’ll start to see the flaws in them. After a month or so with “rebound person”, you’ll start to look pretty good.

That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to them right away. Let them develop the idea that they miss the good things in the relationship. When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous. Welcome her back graciously. Be a new and improved boyfriend or girlfriend, but don’t do the chasing.

Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:

* Don’t try to convince them that you are the love of their life. Let them discover this on their own.

* Don’t apologize profusely. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry. Once. But move on. They know the real reasons they love you.

* Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who they fell in love with.

* Don’t try to make them see that it wasn’t your fault. They will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made them invest energy in defending their position that it was your fault.

* Never, ever beg them to take you back.

When your ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, they are in a rebound relationship. You CAN make up with them and get back together. Don’t despair. The rebound relationship is a sign that they are still in love with you.

Pulling For You,
Len

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So what should you do Now?

Sign up for our Relationship Rescue Report below and I’ll send you an action plan that you can begin to use right away to get your ex back. Then we’ll follow up with you each week or so offering additional tips and encouragement which we are confident will lead to the restoration of your broken relationship. Saving a relationship couldn’t be easier!

What you are getting here is a list of some of the blogs which I like and visit frequently in the blogosphere grouped by their category.  I’ll be updated from time to time, so stay tuned.

Enjoy the list, and if you like or know other blogs you like, e-mail me or include them in the comment field, and I’ll take a look.

Great Blogs on Relationships

this time ~ this space
The CurvyGurl Chronicles
In Search of Meaning
Cyber Hot Flash
DC Dating Adventures
The Art of Love and Intimacy
Open Your Heart to the Love
The Honeymoon Phase
Ask About Love And Sex
The Date Girl Diaries

Great Blogs on Dating

The 15 Minute Dating Blog
Online Dating News Blog
Online Dating Blog
love in 90 days
Online Dating Blog
The Dating Matrix Blog
Dating DNA Blog
Dating Queen Dating Advice
The Dating Papers
The Dating Fish Bowl

Pulling For You,
Len Richardson & The Saving a Relationship Team

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So what should you do Now?

Sign up for our Relationship Rescue Report below and I’ll send you an action plan that you can begin to use right away to get your ex back. Then we’ll follow up with you each week or so offering additional tips and encouragement which we are confident will lead to the restoration of your broken relationship. Saving a relationship couldn’t be easier!