Cheating, in all its forms, can be tricky to spot. The person entering into infidelity may be saying so in a quiet whisper because cheaters learn to hide things from those in their life.
Only by studying the changes a partner goes through can the undercurrent of an affair be pulled out of the darkness and into the light.
Changes take place in multiple facets of a persons life. Eventually, the changes become so drastic they cannot be ignored. This gives you the clearest signal some thing below the surface has changed with your partner. Once noticed, you need to begin asking questions to discover what lies beneath. Let’s look at some areas of change.
Though cliche, this is often the easiest to spot. The person is putting their change on display for everyone to see. Things will compound as things progress.
Physical Body: Weight loss is common. Early on, they might state health as the key reason. While possibly accurate, pay attention what follows their reaching a healthy weight. They might try to stretch things.
Personal Style: Changes in dress, as with the body, might not occur all at once. Updating one’s style is not out of the ordinary. However, a swing into a more professional or youthful style outside of the parameters of their day to day life may mean their getting encouragement elsewhere to try something outside their comfort zone.
Modifications: The most extreme of the physical changes often begin with conversational hints. Mentioning a style of tattoo they like or the possibility of getting an elective surgery without any context or history is cause for concern.
As the body is overt when changes happen, the mind can hide its changes. Some people enjoy the challenge of learning a new language, experience a different cuisine or going to a conference for unrelated interests. Most people need to be motivated to learn, grow and change their mind.
* Know Who They Are: One needs to know if their partner is naturally drawn to learning and self improvement.
* What Brought Them There: Even learners feel a reason to change and that motivation should be explained.
* See If They’ll Share: True learners want to discuss or even bring their partner along, so hiding this part of their life is a red flag.
The heart possesses the most shrouds of all. Sometimes the persons does not know their own heart. It can be twisted into knots or hide the truth from even the owner. One of the things making this hard for everyone involved centers around the state of the current relationship. If fleeing to an affair, the person may not feel able to be entirely open. Listening to what they say and unsolicited feedback from those outside the relationship can show how they are changing. Also, checking the emotional temperature and expressing one’s heart to the possible cheater may cause them to unconsciously open up.
Being alert and in communication brings these changes to light much sooner. Once aware of them, one must avoid the temptation to sweep them under the rug and pretend everything will be fine without any intervention. Pain may be an outcome of discovering a partner has made changes for another person. But it is better to find out early rather than living in a web of untruth and betrayal. Be brave, ask hard questions and check your own motivations to help gain the love you long for.
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